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All Topics » Chatterbox » Jokes and riddles!

Jokes and riddles!

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Jokes and riddles! 9

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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by chaosfay » December 01, 2017 01:42 AM

    What do you call a small group of crows? An attempted murder.

    *a group of crows is called a murder
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Adhari » December 01, 2017 08:37 AM

    Did you hear the joke about the baguette? No? Don't worry, it's stale now.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Adraxa » December 01, 2017 09:07 AM

    Most of the jokes that I know are self-deprecating viola jokes.
    What does a viola have in common with a lawsuit?
    Everyone’s happy when the case is closed.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Maripo » January 28, 2018 09:15 PM

    ^ Those take me back a bit...

    How do you get the viola section to play tremolo?
    Mark up their music when they're not looking, and write, "Solo."


    What time did the patient go to the dentist?
    Tooth-hurty!
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Boris » January 29, 2018 11:53 AM

    What did the donkey say to the horse?
    Hee-haw!.

    What do you call people on Skaro?
    Exterminated

    There were two muffins in an oven. The first one turns to the second muffin and asks "Is it just me, or is it getting hotter in here?" The second muffin turns to the first muffin and goes "aaah! Talking muffin!"

    What's the difference between a maid and a nanny?
    One cleans and the other takes care of children.

    What did the coroner say to the man?
    Nothing. The man was dead.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Maripo » October 29, 2018 12:27 AM

    Give me all your puns!


    I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
    Spoiler
    But when I got home, all the signs were there.


    My friend and I watched three DVDs back-to-back.
    Spoiler
    Luckily, I was the one facing the tv screen.


    Why did the belt to to jail?
    Spoiler
    Because it held up a pair of pants.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Lyra Valkyrie » November 08, 2018 10:35 PM

    Last Edited: November 08, 2018 11:23 PM

    Puns you say? I've got some good ones from my time in the Enchanted Forest (plus a few I made up myself)!

    Two elves walk into a bar. Their avoreal friend laughs and walks under it.

    The avoreal walks up to the counter and asks the bartender for a drink.
    He pauses, staring at her military uniform, "I thought you weren't allowed to drink on duty."
    "Yes, but I'm feeling a bit 'peck'ish. And don't worry," she adds with a wink, "I won't be 'cheep' with the bill."

    What's an avoreal's favorite social media site? "Twitter"!

    Where's Lenta at? Their tree is as "dryad" a rock!
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Maripo » August 08, 2019 09:08 PM

    I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey.

    But then, I turned myself around.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by Boris » August 08, 2019 10:04 PM

    What did the magic skeleton say to the pirate?

    Nothing. Dead men tell no tales.
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    Re: Jokes and riddles!

    by SilverFalcon » August 08, 2019 10:35 PM

    Ok, long one:

    What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    Spoiler
    A fsh!


    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    Spoiler
    No i-deer!


    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
    Spoiler
    Still no i-deer!


    What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no genitals? (warning: language)
    Spoiler
    Still no f***ing i-deer!
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